If I had a dollar for every time I was told I have such a positive attitude given what I went through losing my hand, I’d be rich and living somewhere tropical. (If only…)
People have said that to me since I woke up in the hospital. I was highly drugged and determined to not let this change my life. In some ways, I succeeded—I finished school, got a job and on the surface, I live life like anyone else. But some things were inevitable. I can’t exactly change the fact that I can’t clap, for instance.
While it makes me happy people think I have a great attitude, it also frustrates me. It doesn’t take much to be positive. All it takes is realizing the situation you’re in is a hell of a lot better than the one you could be in.
For example, numerous Boston Marathon victims are now amputees to varying degrees. I wasn’t surprised when I read an article recently about how positive these victims are acting. It’s simple—they are happy to be alive because they know they could be dead. They realized quickly how much smarter it is to think about what they can do than to think about what they can’t.
Another great example—earlier this week I met a mom who has a 2-year-old daughter who is immobile. She has a severe form of epilepsy called Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome and started having seizures when she was four days old. The mom talked about all the things her daughter loves to do—swimming, going to school a few days a week, trips to the grocery store and swinging. They sat in the living room laughing and playing, completely ignoring that their lives are different from other families. The mom is just happy to have her daughter.
Outlooks like these are inspirational—I’ll agree with that, but I won’t say these stories are rare. There are thousands, if not millions, of stories like mine. There are people everywhere who overcome hardships with a smile on their face.
In my case, I know I could have died in my accident or had brain damage or leg injuries or lost even more of my arm. The list can go on for days.
It might not be as obvious as a missing hand, but those stories there. If you’re looking to read one, I highly recommend a 10-part series in The Indianapolis Star right now about a woman’s battle with brain cancer. Here’s a link to the most recent article, part seven, but I suggest starting from the beginning. She doesn’t sugarcoat her feelings, but she also laughs a lot, and that’s all you can do.
I have my bad days, just like anyone else, and I’ve had my fair share of breakdowns. The key thing is to get over those bad moods and be able to move on. You laugh at yourself and enjoy the life you do have instead of focusing on a fictional one you wish you could have. I’m reminded all the time that there are plenty of people out there who know how to do that, and that’s pretty great.
Lindsey Erdody 