I’ve experienced never-ending stares, unfiltered questions, shyness and genuine curiosity from kids, but in four years I don’t think I’ve ever scared a child.
Last weekend, I did. Or at least my arm did.
The 7-year-old boy splashing around in the pool at my apartment complex let out a high pitched scream with his eyes looking as if they were going to pop out of his head when he noticed my lack of a left hand.
I terrified him.
In all my experiences with children, I laugh it off. They’re kids. They don’t know any better. I was inclined to do the same with this boy. It was certainly a new and strange reaction, but I assumed he just had never seen an amputee before.
I kindly told him I was in a car accident, which caused me to lose my hand. He argued that doesn’t happen in crashes. With a smile on my face, I said sometimes it does. In my case, it did.
He swam away, too scared to stick around for much longer. I smiled to the friends I was with so they knew I wasn’t upset by his outburst. Again, kids just don’t know any better. It’s not a big deal.
But then I became a spectacle of the pool, like a monster on exhibit at a zoo. The boy dragged his friend over, whispering and pointing at me. I pretended not to notice.
Then the boy pulled his mom into it, bringing her over to meet me. She apologized for her son, and I told her it was fine. I have two nephews, and I’ve been around plenty of kids who aren’t afraid to voice their emotions.
She said she wouldn’t even know where to begin to explain my situation to him.
This comment rubbed me the wrong way. What exactly is difficult to explain? Amputees are everywhere. There are millions of people with missing limbs that he’s bound to run into throughout his lifetime, and you can’t figure out how to explain that to him? I was shocked to learn that missing a limb was a taboo topic that she shied away from talking about with her son.
My nephews are both 3, and both understand their Aunt Lindsey only has one hand and sometimes has a prosthetic hand that she can wear. If my 3-year-old nephews can grasp the idea of a prosthetic, I’m sure this 7-year-old could at least try to understand limb loss.
It’s not very complicated. Accidents happen everyday, and sometimes, as unfortunate as it is, people lose parts of their bodies as a result of that accident. It might not be comfortable to talk about, but not talking about it is even worse.
I kept quiet to the mom, knowing she meant well. But I hope, for her son’s sake, that she explains it to him.
Kids should not be frightened by amputees. We’re not scary. We’re people—just like any person who’s not missing a limb. Be curious, ask questions and stare all you want, but don’t ignore it and don’t be afraid.
Lindsey Erdody 