We apologize for things that aren’t our fault all the time. Some interns at the Indianapolis Star pointed that out in recent column where they tracked how many times they said “sorry” in one day.
After reading that article, I started noticing how often this happens, and probably the most common occurrence for me happened Tuesday. People tend to apologize to me when they notice I only have one hand. Why is that? It’s not their fault I only have one hand. They just met me. Are they sorry for noticing? I don’t exactly hide it.
It was during my work’s annual health screening that employees can participate in to receive a wellness credit and save money on their health insurance. I sat down next to the table waiting for the woman to prick my finger to test my blood for my cholesterol and glucose levels.
“Stick out your left hand,” she says.
Well, that’s pretty difficult for me. I stuck out both hands, probably looking confused and silly but mostly hoping it didn’t really matter if my right hand was used because that’s really my only option.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she says and grabs my right hand.
She was being polite, which is nice. But here’s the thing that I think a lot of people don’t realize — It’s OK to assume people have two hands. A majority of the population does have both hands.
I recently mentioned in a post that there are millions of amputees, but when there’s an estimated 316 million people living in this country according to the U.S. Census Bureau, it makes sense that you don’t see people with one hand or arm that often.
And here’s another possibly earth-shattering statement — We’re all guilty of this assumption. We assume everyone has two hands, two feet, two arms, two legs, 10 fingers, 10 toes, two ears, two eyes and one nose because most people do. It’s OK.
But here’s where the line is drawn: It is not OK to say it’s not normal to have any of those body parts missing. I didn’t suddenly change from being a normal 18-year-old to an abnormal one just because I was in a car accident and had my left hand amputated. I’m still the same person. It’s just not that common, but common and normal are not the same words.
When you do notice someone is an amputee, don’t pretend like you haven’t noticed. That’s also when you’re crossing the line. Take this woman who took my blood for an example. She adjusted and took my right hand instead of staring blankly not knowing what to do.
So the next time you see an amputee, please don’t apologize. I’m certainly not bothered by the assumption that I have two hands, and I’m guilty of making the same assumption just like everyone else.
Lindsey Erdody 